As usual, I have been behind getting writing posted up here. So much is going on with COVID-19 advocacy and other things. Jeff is on my mind right now though because he is facing the end of his prison sentence and uncertainty about what is next to come. We are featuring a series of his pieces in an effort to show the amazing, resilient, beautiful human being he is. Thanks for reading them! ~ Gin
My name is Jeff and I am gay.
I can remember in the 1990’s when Ellen made the same proclamation on national television. This is an event that will live in infamy in the LGBTQ community.
Since that time, there has been monumental progress toward equality for the LGBTQ community. Such rights as being able to marry and openly serve in the military have been achieved. However, despite the progress that has been made, there is still a lot of work that needs to be done before true equality is a reality. This is especially true in the Virginia Department of Corrections where members of the LGBTQ community are discriminated against by residents, staff, administration, and even policies.
One may think that prison is a gay man’s dream because he is surrounded by other men and there are really no women to compete with. However, this idea that a gay man has it made in prison is far from the truth.
In fact, as a gay man in prison, I would say that it’s more difficult than if I was a straight man. Basically there are a large number of men from all different walks of life and backgrounds that are forced to live together with no choice in the matter. Therefore there are lots of different egos to deal with.
Unfortunately there is still a great deal of ignorance when it comes to the topic of being gay, much of which was taught on the outside and passed down for generations. There are those people behind bars who will not associate with a gay resident because he is afraid that he will be labeled as gay. Then there are people who are affiliated with gangs that forbid their members from associating with known gays. Finally, there are those people who don’t want to associate with gays because they are afraid that their true sexuality may be revealed.
These ignorant views of ostracizing gay people means that a gay person like myself cannot be housed in a cell with just any other person. There may even be certain pods I can’t be placed in due to a large gang population. I have to be acutely aware of my surroundings, especially when I am in the shower area. The aforementioned people get offended if a gay person is in the shower area when they are. I can’t even stand in front of the shower door because another person may think that I am looking at him even if I’m not. I also have to be acutely aware of my surroundings because as a gay person behind bars I know that I am at a higher risk of being sexually assaulted–which has happened to me in the past.
While the Prison Rape Elimination Act (PREA) has reduced such instances from happening, it does still occur. Every time that I am transferred, have to move pods, or put in the cell with a new cellmate I have great anxiety because I don’t know how the person will react to me being gay.
Not only as a gay person behind bars have I had to face isolation and worry about safety, but also have jokes made about me because I am gay. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good joke, even gay jokes. It depends on the intent that it’s being delivered that can make it offensive. If the joke is meant to be hurtful then it is wrong.
I have also had to tolerate derogatory slurs against gays used. Gays are often referred to as gumps, fags, and faggots. One night my friend Allen (not his real name), who is also gay, and I were sitting at a table out in the pod and another resident kept using the word faggot while sitting right beside us. After a few times I confronted the person asking if he even realized that two gays were sitting there and that the word faggot was very offensive. The person did apologize and said he didn’t realize he was being offensive. It is a prime example of the ignorance that exists.
If I went out into the pod and started throwing the “N-word” around then I guarantee that I would end up in a fight. However gay people are seen as being weak so there are people behind bars who just don’t care if they offend us. Unfortunately a gay person is often defined solely based on the fact that he is gay. Allen works in one of the shops here at State Farm Enterprise Unit and another resident nicknamed him *The Gay” rather than use Allen’s real name. This is sad because Allen is so much more of a person than just being gay. The other person isn’t taking the chance to get to know the real person. Allen is actually a beautiful person inside.
People behind bars aren’t the only ones who discriminate against gays. The Department of Correction’s policies themselves directly discriminate against gays. Offense Codes–charges–such as 209 (Engaging in a sexual act by consent) and 233b (Making sexual advances either physical, verbal in nature or in writing toward an offender) are used to target members of the LGBT community who are in prison. These charges used to actually use the word homosexual instead of sex and sexual. However some members of the LGBT community in prison filed a grievance and the DOC wanted to at least appear to be politically right. However, don’t let this blind you. The same policies still exist and are used to target LGBTQ people behind bars.
LGBTQ residents even face discrimination from the staff and administration. Before working in a shop here, Allen worked in the State Farm Infirmary where sick residents and those with mental health needs are housed. Sergeant Harris didn’t like the fact that Allen worked there because he is gay. She felt that my friend would sexually assault those with mental health needs even though Allen has commmitted no sex crimes. This was solely based on Sergeant Harris’s bias and ignorance about gays. Even now at the shop Allen is working in, a correctional officer refers to him as “Basic” as in a basic gay. Who wants to be referred to as basic? It is very insulting toward Allen. He has many talents that would amaze people.
Another person at State Farm, who I will refer to as Angie, was discriminated against by Sergeant Harris and Unit Manager D. Watford because Angie is transgender. While housed at Keen Mountain, Angie was issued bras and female underwear. When Angie arrived at State Farm these items were taken from her and Angie was charged with Offense Code 224 Possession of contraband. This was despite the fact that the female undergarments were issued by a DOC facility. Angie began the grievance process on this matter but was continually harassed by the administration because she identified as transgender. To be vindictive, Unit Manager Watford decided to move Angie to the 1st floor and in the cell with a Muslim. There was no reason to do this because Angie and her cellmate on the 2nd floor got along. Watford knew that Angie and the Muslim would not be comparable cellmates. To protect herself, Angie decided to go to segregation rather than move in a cell where there would clearly be conflict. Angie was soon transferred to another facility.
Even correctional officers are known to take advantage of members of the LGBT community and view them as weak. I was recently told about an incident at Pocahontas Correctional Center where Correctional Officer Craig, a male officer, tried to force a gay resident to perform a sexual act on him. Craig even went to the extent of going into the person’s cell, have the door closed, and the light turned out. A Correctional Officer never has a legitimate reason to do these things. Craig told the person behind bars that if he didn’t perform a sexual act, then his personal property would be thrown away. The person refused to perform the sex act and was forced to throw his personal property in the trash, which could be seen on video. Craig assumed that since the person was gay that he wouldn’t have the courage to report him. Luckily the person behind bars did have the courage and did report Craig to PREA. An institutional investigator investigated the mater and decided that the claim was unfounded. This was despite the video showing Craig in the person’s cell for an extended amount of time with the door closed and the person being forced to throw his property in the trash. Correctional Officers and the administration stick together in order to sweep such misconduct under the rug. An person behind bars who is part of the LBGTQ community is left vulnerable and unprotected by Correctional Officers and the administration.
The administration and staff also contributes to a gay person like myself being isolated. If I do find someone to be friends with–nothing more–then it is automatically assumed that it is something more and that something sexual is going on. It is just about impossible to become cellmates with someone I want to be in the cell with because the administration, out of ignorance, assumes that there are plans for something sexual to happen, even if that is not the case.
Being a white gay person behind bars makes the situation even worse. If a gang member asks to move in a cell with someone it is almost automatically done with no problem. The DOC is supposed to have a zero tolerance for gangs, but it seems like the administration and staff show favoritism to them.
If a member of the LGBTQ community finds someone special and wants to have a relationship then it presents many complications. Of course the administration frowns on such relationships. They dehumanize members of the LGBTQ community saying that we have to suppress feelings that come natural to us. The DOC and the administration tells me that I can’t love another man which is discriminatory and inhumane.
I had been in a prison relationship before and we were split up due to me being transferred. It was a very upsetting experience and both of us were in tears when I found out I was being transferred. At that point I had around three years before my release and I swore to myself that I would not get into another prison relationship because it was just to painful to have to say goodbye.
However with around a year left to serve my partner Jimmy came into my life. It started out as a casual friendship, but as time went on we became closer. The first few times that Jimmy mentioned being in a relationship I said no, but over time my emotions for him grew strong and on December 13, 2019 we became a couple.
In prison it is difficult to have a relationship because everything has to be kept low key, almost in secret, even though most people here realized we are a couple.
Jimmy and I were together all the time, but couldn’t openly show affection toward each other, not even a hug. We often had to catch ourselves. If the administration thought we were in a relationship we knew that we would surely be separated.
Jimmy and I are deeply in love. We know the best and the worst about each other. Jimmy is the first man I have been with that uplifts me every day and empowers me.
When our relationship started Jimmy had a life sentence with no parole. However, Virginia passed juvenile parole in January so Jimmy is now eligible because he was convicted as a juvenile. We started making plans to get out, get married, and spend our lives together. However, On March 2, 2020 Jimmy and I had our lives turned upside down.
Jimmy was in my cell and as he was preparing to leave gave me 3 quick pecks on the lips as a gesture of affection in departing. There was nothing sexual about these kisses. Unfortunately Captain Hicks was making rounds on the floor and saw Jimmy kissing me as she passed the door. I knew that as soon as Hicks said, “Really?” that trouble was ahead.
Captain Hicks is a lesbian and one would think that she would be sympathetic and supportive of members of the LGBT community, even those in prison. However, this is not what happened.
In the LBGT community there has often been conflict between gay men and lesbians. When Captain Hicks saw Jimmy and I kissing, she projected her own thoughts and feelings into the situation to make the kiss sexual. By doing this, Captain Hicks discriminated against us in two ways: fist because of our gender being male, and second because Jimmy and I are gay males.
In the Webster’s Pocket Dictionary a kiss is defined as to touch with the lips in affection, greeting, or departure. Nowhere in the definition is the word sex used.
In fact when an offender goes to visitation he/she is allowed to exchange a hug and kiss with the visitor at the beginning and end of the visit. This is regardless of gender. I would also like to point out that the Department of Corrections (DOC) does not view such a kiss as sexual.
Yet if two gay males exchange a kiss in departure it is automatically considered sexual. People behind bars aren’t even allowed to hug according to the rules. This is a prime example of how the DOC discriminates against the LGBT community.
Captain Hicks charged Jimmy with Offense Code 229–Being in an unauthorized area–because an resident isn’t suppose to go into another cell other than his own. This rule isn’t strictly enforced at State Farm Enterprise Unit. However, Captain Hicks felt the need to write this charge because Jimmy and I are gay males, and this was her way of throwing salt on the wound. Jimmy choose to take the penalty offer of a $2.00 fine because it was going to be hard to challenge this charge.
Both Jimmy and I were charged with Offense Code 233b- Making sexual advances toward another “offender”. This offense code is meant for instances where a person pushes up on another person making unwanted sexual advances. Offense Code 233b has severe consequences on an annual review, affecting both good time earning and security level, because it is scored as high on the Disciplinary Report. A kiss that wasn’t even sexual in nature doesn’t warrant such severe consequences. Even Offense Code 209 Engaging in sexual acts with others by consent is considered moderate on the Disciplinary Report. However, Captain Hicks used a more serious charge because of her personal prejudices against gay men.
On March 12, 2020 Jimmy and I went to “kangaroo court” for our hearing. Both of us were found guilty. The Hearing’s Officer, Ms. Baker was very adamant about not reducing the charge to a lesser offense or dismissing it all together. Even though it is inappropriate and not allowed, I have no doubt that Captain Hicks discussed the charge with Ms. Baker to insure that Jimmy and I were found guilty and that the charge was not reduced. I know for a fact that there was discussion among the staff and administration about the kiss and the charge. The inmate advisor informed me that there was a discussion between him, another of the Hearing’s Officers [Ms. Colman], and Captain Hicks about the charge.
As the officer who wrote the charge, Captain Hicks was acting inappropriate by having such a discussion. Captain Hicks used her influence and power to make sure that Jimmy and I were found guilty of the charge and that it was not reduced.
This outcome was very disappointing because I was sure that the charge would be reduced to a lesser charge or dismissed all together. The penalty offered was for 15 days loss of canteen, but once Ms. Baker found us guilty she felt the need to change the penalty to loss of phone and double the time to 30 days. Both Jimmy and I are appealing the guilty verdict, but haven’t heard anything yet. I’m not getting my hopes up because the administration tends to stick together even if it involves an injustice against a person behind bars.
Unfortunately this tragic story doesn’t end there. On the Morning of Friday March 13th the lead psychologist, Dr. Strange (yes, that’s her real name) made rounds on the 2nd floor and asked how I was doing. I told her that I’ve had better days and told her about the charge. Then after the 12 PM count the floor officer told Jimmy to pack his stuff because he was being moved to the 3rd floor. I felt that Dr. Strange had Jimmy moved due to the Prison Rape Elimination Act (PREA) because I am flagged as being a high risk of being a victim. I feel that Dr. Strange betrayed me and that I can no longer go to her for mental health issues or talk to her because it could be used against me. I can no longer trust her. I also felt guilty that Jimmy was being moved because if I hadn’t talked to Dr. Strange then none if this would have happened.
Jimmy had already said that if they try to move him to the 3rd floor that he was going to the hole (segregation). My heart was breaking because now we wouldn’t be able to spend time together, time that was already limited due to my December 30th release date. Both Jimmy and I were in tears as he was escorted out the door. We both knew that there was a possibility that we wouldn’t see each other again.
Jimmy was moved to State Farm Correctional Center, which is a seprate facility on the same property, that day to be placed in segregation. I felt so alone and went into a deep depression, barely leaving my cell. Jimmy was the one who had lifted me up each day with his encouraging words and kept me going. The administration has no idea how my life was so negatively altered by separating me from Jimmy.
Due to the CORVID-19 pandemic there are no transfers in the DOC at this time. In addition a person behind bars can’t be held in segregation for a extended amount of time per policy. Two weeks after Jimmy was moved–despite the COVID-19 policy not to move people between facilities–he was moved back to State Farm Enterprise Unit, but housed on the 3rd floor. Right now the floors are being kept separate because of the pandemic. At least Jimmy and I see each other when we go to pill line and can talk through the fence if our floors have recreation at the same time, but are on separate yards. However, this isn’t even close to the way it was before.
It’s really hard to have an in depth conversation when there is no privacy. In many ways it’s as if Jimmy is still in segregation and we are apart. It’s impossible to have an in intimate moment together. I’m not referring to sexual, but rather emotional. Jimmy and I still love each other very much but being apart like this means we have to work twice as hard to keep the relationship alive. In my opinion the work is well worth it.
All of this is because of the prejudice and discrimination that Captain Hicks and administration has against offenders who are gay men. However I can guarantee that Jimmy and I have not given up and we still plan to build a life on the street one day soon.
When Captain Hicks came on the 2nd floor the day she wrote Jimmy and I a charge, Captain Hicks failed to announce “female on the floor.” This is DOC policy to comply with PREA guidelines. People behind bars are expected to follow policies, yet when it comes to staff and administration it’s okay if they ignore the policies when it’s convenient for them.
I filed a informal complaint, but also called the PREA hotline to make sure it was addressed. I know how things get sweep under the rug when it involves a member of the administration. When I called the PREA hotline I even talked to a representative to make sure it was appropriate to make such a report on the hotline. At the time I didn’t realize that announcing “female on the floor,” was a DOC policy and not a PREA guideline.
A week later I was called to the investigator’s office and charged with misuse of the phone. I have no doubt that Captain Hick’s had the investigator write the charge to be vindictive and the fact that she has a problem with gay white males. I also have no doubt that she has already talked to the Hearing’s Officer to make sure that I’m found guilty. If Captain Hicks had followed policy none of this would have even happened.
It is time for the LGBT community as a whole to stand up together. It is time to speak out and to say no more when it comes to discrimination against LGBTQ people in prison. It is time to change the policies so that they don’t discriminate or target LGBTQ people behind bars. It is also time to change the attitude of staff and administration toward residents who are LGBTQ. The only way this is going to happen is if the general public speaks out.