~ Interview with LeMar Anderson, Kari’s Husband ~
What do you spend most of your time doing now?
Due to being incarcerated my days are rather structured with little deviation in schedule.
Typically my day begins around 5:30 AM, with me waking up and preparing for work. Before leaving, my morning ritual is to read my Bible, along with the daily devotional pamphlets, to prepare my mind spiritually for the day ahead. After a quick breakfast, I head to work.
Currently I’m employed as a tutor, providing assistance for those who are on the path to earning their GED. As most can attest to, going to the same job day after day, year after year, can get monotonous, sometime seven wearisome. Fortunately for me I find it rewarding to go to work everyday. To see guys who’ve been away from an educational environment for 10 to 30 yeas (sometimes more), have a new found desire for learning motivates me to show up each day ready and willing to help. There’s a sense of achievement to see someone I’ve worked with for months, sometimes even years, grasp a complex math problem, when at one point in time they struggled with basic addition and subtraction. Watching these guys walk down the aisle in a cap and gown, with a proud look of accomplishment to receive their diplomas is a reward as well as an impetus to continue without being bogged down with boredom. It also gives me a sense of purpose…
When I’m not at work I’m usually attending one of the many programs I’m part of. In my religious community I’m currently the person who coordinates and leads the weekly services. Recently I was asked to be mentor in the Parole Support Group. This group serves as a community support avenue for those who’ve been repeatedly denied parole. As mentors, we attempt to give peer support for those handling this disappointment while giving practical steps for facing the board the next year. Twice a week I attend a Personal Finance class too. Five to six times a week I dedicate an hour or more to physical exercise. The most important part of my day is reaching out to family and loved ones.
My family is very important to me so I make an effort to remain a constant and positive influence in the lives of my wife and children. This is top priority, so I focus a lot of effort in that direction.
With the help of other prisoners and outside organizations I’ve had the opportunity to put together a few fundraisers for the community to help those less fortunate.
To summarize it all and answer the question in once sentence, I spend most of my time trying to figure out ways to make the world around me better than how I found it.
Tell us a little about the most important people in your life.
My wife, my partner, my best friend…the list could go on and on with attributes attempting to describe her, none of which would do her any justice or what she means to me.
The strength she shows daily when it comes to the maintenance and upkeep of our family is admirable to say the least. In my absence she finds a way to manage the household responsibilities meant for two: raising the children, handling the financial obligations, etc., all while being my staunchest advocate for freedom. It takes a strong woman to handle being in a relationship with someone who’s incarcerated. The negative stigmas, long distance, and the lonely nights can all be taxing for even the strongest of relationships. She has continually risen above the ashes of disappointment, defeat, and sadness to be my backbone, even at times of her own weakest points.
As much as I try to do what I can for her from in here, I know it a heavy burden for her to carry. I give thanks for her every day.
My wife and children are the fuel to my fire, that which drives me to be a better man. Although I strive to be an ado better for myself, they push me to show myself as a new and improved version of me, different from when I entered this place. They deserve the best version of me.
My mother…she has been by my side from birth, no matter the choices I might’ve made that were contrary to my good upbringing she has continued to show me nothing but love, unconditionally.
How are you different now than from when you first got locked up?
I have been incarcerated since 1997 (22 years). I was 22 years old when I entered prison. As with most people at that age, I had no real concept of what responsibility was or the life-long consequences that my actions would have on my life, but most significantly, on others’ lives.
Unlike most, my decision led to being incarcerated while with other my age, their choices usually led to normal slip-ups like not taking education seriously, excessive partying, being financially irresponsible, normal young adult things with a less dire outcome. Just as normal adults mature over time after going through life’s experiences, so have I.
I’ve learned a lot from the trails and tribulations I’ve endured over the years. There was a time when I lived for the moment, seeking only instant gratification and selfish desires, having no though of the future. Now I’m more calculated in my thinking, having more patience and awareness of my actions. It is important to me that I’m considerate of others and reliable to those who depend on me. Now my life is more purpose driven compared to when I was younger.